2011: A Year I'll Never Forget

Wow, this has been an amazing year! There have been many memorable moments, as well as ones I'd like to forget as soon as possible (see date below). Here are my favorite moments of 2011:

-My date with a pervert

-Accidentally blowing a kiss to Kristen Wiig

-An emotional rollercoaster with Netflix. There were good times and perplexing ones

-The first time I met Spasso's Stracciatella

-Doing standup, and loving it!

-The delivery of my child

-My inspirational leap from textile designer to app designer: check these out: The Dateline App and Eyes Wide Open App 

-The first time I held a koala

-Almost getting my own reality show

Can't wait to see what happens in 2012! If the men are even half as bad as the ones this year, you're in for some interesting blog posts. 

Happy New Year to you! Hope you're doing something fun (and eating something delicious) to celebrate!

Adam Platt Has Spoken (And I Have Listened)

In this week's New York Magazine, Adam Platt lists the top 100 restaurants in NY right now....Which for me is part trip down memory lane, and part to-do list for 2012! Here are the restaurants I would LOVE to try next year (I should probably start making reservations now):

-Per Se (DUH! Who doesn't want to eat at Per Se? Must find some special occasion to celebrate!)

-Momofuku Ko (Been wanting to try for years! But could anything be better than pork buns?)

-Torrisi Italian Specialties (My love of Frankies Spuntino makes it hard to for me to enjoy any other Italian restaurants but this one sounds GOOOOD!)

-Maialino-I walk by this restaurant, located in the Gramercy Park Hotel, all the time and peer in with envy, wondering why I haven't been yet. It looks so delightful in there! And if Danny Meyer has anything to do with the place, it must be good (hello Shake Shack! and Eleven Madison Park (which is also on the Platt's list by the way)).

-L'Atelier De Joel Robuchon-(I know a guy who actually CRIED at Joel Robuchon's restaurant in Paris because the food was so extraordinary! And I hear Robuchon's New York restaurant is pretty darn amazing too.)

 

The NY Shoe Guy: A Hero to Many

It's not often someone can drastically improve your life for $10, but the NY shoe guy does it every day for desperate ladies all across Manhattan!! Heel fall off? He'll build a new one! Leather shriveling up? A bit of polish and it's as good as new! There's almost no problem you can throw his way that he would be able to tackle. 

With his unstoppable optimism and ability to salvage your old shoes, its a wonder shoe companies can even stay in business. And he's not just limited to shoes either! He fixes watches, bags. Pretty much any problem you have, he can help you!!

I'd like to take this moment to thank my shoe guy on 30th street between Madison and Park Ave. I wouldn't have been able to wear my favorite brown boots for more than five years if it weren't for him. He's my hero!!

The Only Problem With Seated Concerts....

Saturday night I went to go see one of my favorite bands, The National. THEY WERE AMAZING!! And the Beacon Theater is my new favorite venue. HELLO SEATING!! Yes, it's sad but true: my days of enjoying general admission are long gone. Now, I embrace the luxury of a nice cushy seat. No pushing to get to the front. No fighting with the sweaty (probably much younger and less wise) people bumping into you. It's concert going for old people, and I love it!

There's one small glitch though. The whole seating thing only works if EVERYONE sits down. If one or two people stand up and block the band for everyone else, the whole system is compromised. And that's exactly what happened Saturday night. There were two girls with particularly bad dance moves a few rows ahead that stood and "danced" at every chance they could get. They even got up during slow songs and kind of did this semi-sway thing (Who DOES that?). I felt bad for the poor people that sat directly behind them, as well as also feeling bad for myself!

Anyway, here's a clip of those dancing girls. I couldn't hear exactly what they were saying, but here's how I think their conversation would have gone:

By the way, for those of you who were offended by my "New Years Eve" comment, do not fret. I myself went to go see the movie last night, so it was all in good fun. And if you're wondering, the movie was even worse than I thought it was going to be! Oh well, they can't all be Oscar worthy, can they?

Happy First Birthday to THESUPERGREAT!!

Today is a very exciting day, it is the one year anniversary of when I started my blog! I am so happy! It's been such a fun and exciting year, and I couldn't have done it without all of your support (hello, Oscar speech?). Thank you to everyone who follows thesupergreat, and leaves hilarious comments (and even the aggressive comments, because it only means you care!), and reposts on Facebook, and all of that good stuff. Now here are a few of my favorite posts from this year. 

-Breaking Up With Your Fruitman Is Hard

-Suggested Topics in Elevator Small Talk

-My Daily Commute Reminds Me a Lot of "Paperboy"

-Let's Face it, Facebook Is Not Perfect

-New Yorkers Have Plenty to be Afraid Of (Discussion of FOMO and other Fears)

-New York Baby Halloween Costume Ideas

-Superimpose Me-What Would Our Baby Look Like?

-What's the Name of that New Justin Timberlake Movie Again?

And of course every Fifth Grade Journal Friday has been very special! There are too many of those to list individually.

Let me know if any other posts touched you, or if there's anything you'd like to see in year two! Looking forward to the next year of hilariousness and deliciousness and interesting dates...And you'll be the first to know about all that!

Fifth (or Fourth) Grade Journal Friday-Winning

And that was the last time I ever won anything. Besides that autographed photo of Tyra Banks I won in a silent auction a few years ago (after one too many drinks..might not have made the same decision to bid on it sober). Charlie Sheen is right, winning is AWESOME!

Destiny, Or Extremely Bizarre Google Searches, Brought You Here

More bizarre internet searches that brought people to thesupergreat.com. WHY OH WHY is someone searching for "math dirty monkeys smell bad"???????? Or "bulldog farts" for that matter. So strange, but at least I get a good laugh out of it (and hopefully you do too!).

What It's Like To Get Fired From Three Waitressing Jobs

This story is not about me. It's about a close friend of mine, whose name is Samandra Raymond. Samandra had a LONG history of waitressing. I, uh I mean she, worked at seven different restaurants throughout her diverse career:

IHOP Wayne, NJ

Best job ever! How did Samandra not gain 100 lbs working there?
 

Charlie Brown's Steakhouse Wayne, NJ

Samandra cried after every shift. Terrible! Her first night working, her customer found a screw in their salad. YIKES!
 

Macaroni Grill Wayne, NJ

This is where Samandra refined her ability to write her name upside down.

 

Il Vicino* St Louis
Bob Costas used to eat here, thank god he was never seated in Samandra's station, or her poor waitressing skills might have made the news.

Cinder's Steakhouse* Wayne, NJ
(Ironically I think the place burned down. NOT due to anything Samandra did)

Edna's Place* Melbourne, Australia

No Comment. I don't think Samandra lasted more than a month or two here.
 

Stir Sushi Melbourne, Australia Best job ever! Free sushi! And Samandra learned some Japanese from the chef (important expressions like "cheerful caterpillar", etc).

You know what? Samandra was actually a pretty darn bad waitress! So bad that she was actually "fired" from three of the seven jobs. Not that anyone ever actually said to her "You're fired", but there were a few instances of the following:

Samandra: "Hi, just calling to find out when I'm on the schedule next:
Restaurant Manager: "Uh, yes...About that...You're not"

Samandra couldn't understand it! She was friendly! People loved her! She even had a few tricks up her sleeve to connect with her tables:
-If two people ordered the same dish, when bringing them out to the table, she would act confused, not sure which dish was for which person. That one always got a good laugh!
-When clearing people's plates, if there was one that was completely empty, she would act concerned and say "Wasn't very good?". That one also got a hearty laugh!

Samandra made babies laugh, and practically brought out refills before people even ordered their first drink. She suggested dishes she thought people would enjoy. She loved her customers (especially the ones that left her 20% or more) and they loved her.

Why all the firing then? Was it because of that one time she spilled a tray of drinks on a customer at Il Vicino? Or the fact that she could NOT open a bottle of wine for the life of her, often pushing the cork inside expensive bottles of wine?

Thankfully, Samandra decided to end her waitressing career and pursue other passions (Design), but she will always cherish the memories of being a waitress (mostly the ones involving stuffing her face with Vive La French Toast and Chocolate Chip Pancakes with extra scoops of butter. THANK YOU, IHOP!!!).

*These are the restaurants that did not ask Samandra back

Sam: Not Sporty at Any Age

This was another page from that "Book About Me" I filled out at age six. You know you weren't the most athletic child when you say your favorite sport is rollerskating!

And I guess not much has changed, because here's a pic of me "playing" kickball a few years ago..

It's my dedication to the team that helped me coin the expression "Winning is for Losers"!!

The FOOD SPREADSHEET!

I don't want to build this up or anything, but this might be the most important day of your life. It is a moment that will trend on twitter....It's the day your life changes forever....

Yes, that's right, it's the day I share my food spreadsheet with you! I've been keeping track of my favorite restaurants for years (I don't bother writing down the ones I didn't like)..I also keep a list of the new places I want to try (Am I missing anything? Let me know if you've eaten anywhere good lately!). I update the spreadsheet so check back often. 

Well, here it is, DRUMROLL PLEASE.....SAM'S FOOD SPREADSHEET


And just so you know (in case you haven't heard me mention them a million times before), my favorite spots are:

-Frankies 17
-Shake Shack
-Ippudo
-Luke's Lobster
-Levain Bakery

Watch Out, Oprah! My Favorite Things From Last Week

Oprah, I'm taking over where you left off...Here are some of my favorite things from last week...*

Favorite Song: Robyn "Stars 4-Ever".  This song will make you dance! YEAH!!
Favorite Meal: Bagel with Horseradish Cream Cheese, Smoked Salmon and Wasabi Roe from Russ and Daughters. MMMMMMM...Pretty to look at and DEELISH!
Favorite TV Show: "Up All Night". It's cute and funny, and Maya Rudolph's character as a wannabe Oprah is reason enough to tune in. HILARIOUS!
Favorite Website: Shapeways.com. Found out about it at the NY Tech Meetup. Design your own stuff and have it made. Or buy cool stuff other people have designed. AWESOME!

*Sorry, people...There's nothing under your chairs and no trips to Australia or free cars!

Fifth Grade Journal Friday-Ahhh, Sam Got Her Ears Pierced...

My Friends Have Got Some Good Stories

You know those stories that make you laugh every time you think of them? These are those stories! I can't believe they happened, and they never get old. But they're all true, I tell ya! I couldn't make them up if I tried.

I SWEAR I'M NOT CRAZY, KRISTEN WIIG!!

One week ago was one of the most exciting days of my life! For those of you who don't already know, I SAW KRISTEN WIIG IN REAL LIFE! Here's how the events unfolded:

-Early in the day, I saw on Twitter that there was a screening that night of "Bridesmaids" at MoMA, with Kristen Wiig, Rose Byrne, and Director Paul Feig there for a discussion after.
-I KNEW I HAD TO GO!! Ah, but there was one small catch: You could only buy the tickets in person. I called up, and was told there were nine tickets left (how was this not sold out? Are people crazy?). That's it, I decided I would run 24 blocks up to MoMA on my lunch break to snag those tickets. And that's what I did.
-My sis Marian and I got FRONT ROW CENTER SEATS!!!
-After the show, the stars came out of MoMA and headed towards their car. Just before they got in, Kristen glanced over at Marian and me. Marian kind of gave a polite bow with her hands together and whispered graciously "Thank you, Kristen". I, on the other hand, was unfortunately not as poised. I stalkerishly screamed "I LOVE YOU KRISTEN!!" and before I knew it I was blowing her a kiss! She smiled at me and started to blow me a kiss, but never followed through. I'm pretty sure she was trying to figure out how close her body guard was at that moment. I swear I'm not crazy, Kristen! I'm just possibly your biggest fan on earth!! Don't be scared, be flattered!
Here are some pics to prove that I wasn't just dreaming!

Siri, Can You Hear Me?

There are times when Siri really works her magic! But most of the time, I find myself laughing at the crazy things she thinks I said, and repeating myself over and over again until I just finally give up and try the search manually. I know, I know, POOR ME! My brand new iphone is making my life too hard! BOO HOO!!!! You should feel very sorry for me!

Whatever You Do, Don't Leave Your Vinyl at VYNL

My friend Alexis recently told me a hilarious story about her friend Jim who went to the Mayer Hawthorne concert, and bought a vinyl as a souvenir...Unfortunately Jim left his vinyl at VYNL a restaurant near the concert venue!! And apparently this is something you should not do. When the waiters were asked if they had seen his vinyl, they looked perplexed. "Uh, all of our menus are actual records, so it's going to be mighty hard to find yours". Lesson learned: Whatever you do, do not leave your vinyl at VYNL.

For those of you who are concerned, Jim eventually got his record back. Phew!

I Use the Term "Autograph" Very Loosely

Oh, six year old Sam...You are so adorable! That was a nice effort on your part to complete your autograph collection, but I don't think you correctly understood the meaning of the term "autograph". You see, in order for it to be an autograph, you actually need to get the signature of the person whose autograph you are getting! You cannot, I repeat cannot, write it in yourself. Where was this amazing explanation on wikipedia 25 years ago??

More Unusual Google Searches Leading to TheSuperGreat.com

Once again, no CLUE how these searches lead to my blog (or why anyone would need to google "don't sit on me"), but they always make me chuckle!

Check out these other bizarre searches.

Shake Shack-A Sob Story

Ahhh, the people I get along with best are those that love food as much as I do. That's why it was so fun having my good friend Abby in town from Chicago this past weekend. We ate like queens! Flex Mussels on Friday night. Shake Shack for lunch saturday. Yerba Buena saturday night. Luke's Lobster for lunch Sunday...There were also some slices of pizza mixed into our diverse culinary schedule. 

One of the most poignant (and hilarious) moments of the weekend was when I looked over at Abby just as she had finished her Shack Burger. She was completely devastated the burger was over, and looked as if she might cry. It's that good, people. You never want it to end! Abby, the fact that you almost cried over a burger makes you even more awesome than I already thought you were. Come back again soon please!

Fifth Grade Journal Friday-An Entry From My BFF Jill

Remember Erik? My second boyfriend? The guy who responded with "I don't know" when I asked him out..and then later that day told me "yes" (by giving me an ice pop)?
Well apparently I wasn't the ONLY one in love with Erik (or unable to spell his name). My oldest BFF Jill was crazy about him too. So in love that she actually composed a song for him. Watch out John Mayer! This girl writes love songs so deep she makes "Your Body Is A Wonderland" sound like death metal. Here is is, a journal entry from Jill:

Jillie, thanks so much for sharing with me and the world. If anyone else has a journal entry they would allow me to post (PLEASE! PRETTY PLEASE!!), please send to supergreat@thesupergreat.com. I'll love you forever and ever and promise to spell your name right!

You've Got Something On Your Face

You know when you get home from a sassy night out, and you're feeling good?! SO GOOD! And then you look in the mirror, and you see.....THIS....

WHAT??? WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME??

I've got spinach (and unidentifiable food particles) wedged in my teeth, mascara crumbles on my cheeks, and lipstick smudged all over...All those guys I shouldn't have smiled at under harsh lighting....All the mirrors I wish I had looked in...

WHY ME?? WHY THIS????

Here are some thought provoking questions on the matter. Answer freely, as your responses are anonymous:

You've Got Something On Your Face

Netgear Vs. Netflix: Who Is More Baffling?

Speaking with customer service reps is never easy, is it? There's always a whole lotta confusion, frustration, and robotic talking (on their part, not mine!). Unfortunately for me, the cartoon above is based on completely true events. And do you know what I did? I ended up solving the problem myself, without their ridiculously expensive help! Take that, Netgear!

Once A Foodie, Always a Foodie

Ahhh, there's nothing like someone surprising you and taking you to Friendly's. The Reese's Pieces Sundae (Not to be confused with the far inferior Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Sundae) is a sundae of dreams! Mmmm crispy Reese's Pieces....Silky smooth whipped cream...Hot Fudge, Peanut Butter, Marshmallow...Oh my! Thanks for the lovely surprise, Mom. You're the best!!

Cutting Back a Bit-Don't Be Sad! Be Glad!

adapted from pic by sabianmaggy

Isn't that Bulldog JUST ADORABLE!?? Now, I want you to focus on his face when I tell you what I'm about to tell you. Whatever you do, don't stop thinking about how smooshy and cute he is...

Ok, here it is. Boy, do I love writing this blog! But posting every weekday is getting to be too much, and I can't keep up! When am I going to have time to go out on all those bad dates and eat all that delicious food you love to read about if I'm busy blogging all the time? This is my way of telling you I have to cut back a bit. Don't worry, I will try to post as much as I can. It just might not be as often as you're used to.

Oh come on now, there's no need for tears! Thanks for your understanding, you're the best!!

Farting at the Gym: WHY???

Dude (I don't say "Dude" often, but it feels appropriate here), it's just you and me on these treadmills...and I know that I myself didn't fart, so it must be you! Don't pretend you didn't do it. There's no one else in sight, you are sooooo busted! 

And on while we're venting about gym pet peeves, please don't do any of the following either: have loud conversations on your cellphone (get an office!), wear extremely strong perfume or cologne that makes it hard for me to breathe (as if exercise didn't make it hard enough), make loud grunting noises (where am I, Gold's Gym?). 

THANK YOU! Follow all these simple instructions and we will get along just fine. And I promise not to beat you up (have you seen my guns? I have been working out a lot lately! Who do you think is smelling all your farts?)

New York Baby Halloween Costume Ideas

costume illustrations by sam, baby pics via fumpt, TedsBlog, Lars Plougmann, jencu, mynameisharsha

Other ideas include: subway rat, fruit man, bag of trash, marathon runner, metro card, hot dog vendor, Wall Street bull...What else am I missing?

Happy Halloween, everyone! Did you know that thanks to this glorious holiday, you are contributing billions of dollars to the American economy (thanks for telling me about this, Dad!)? I did my part to support this crumbling economy by wearing a sexy tree costume. WOOHOOO!!!

Superimpose Me-I Wish It Weren't Snowing Out

Instead of getting all upset about the fact that it's SNOWING in October, I thought I could use a little help from Superimpose Me to make it all ok! Snow, Schnow! Sleet Schleet! JUST LOOK at the view from my window!!! I can't wait to go outside and frolic on the beach!!! So excited!!

adapted from pic by mboperator

If you'd like Superimpose Me to bring one of your dreams to life, send your request and a clear pic to SuperimposeMe@thesupergreat.com. I will try my best to make it happen!

Check out other Superimpose Me success stories here!

What Did Sam Want for her Birthday at the Age of Six?

Wow, you can really tell what I had on my mind at the tender age of six! Last week I mentioned that I collected money (in addition to string, coins, shells etc). This week, I give a helpful hint regarding what I'd like as a birthday present. Can you guess what it is? Take a look!

Halloween 2011-Bringing Sexy Back to Nature

Ahhh, Halloween! It's that time of year I add "sexy" to some object that isn't sexy and call it my costume! In the past, I've dressed up as "sexy corn on the cob", "sexy crayon", "sexy bed bug"...This year, I am going to be a "sexy tree". Here's what my costume might look like...and some expressions I might try to incorporate into my dialogue throughout the night:

Stop Sh*tting On My Newsfeed, Spotify! (But I Kind Of Like It)

It is kind of annoying the Spotify has been totally taking over my newsfeed lately by letting me know each and every song my friends are listening to. But on the other hand I am finding out about some good stuff...So I can't complain too much! Just in case you do want to hide what you're listening to, here's more info on that. In the meantime, here are some of the songs I've been loving on Spotify (since you won't see them published in your real newsfeed). 

You've Got the Wrong Girl, Match.com

Look at the ad Match.com flashed on the screen after I signed out of their website!!!!

I am not kidding!!! Uh, seriously? Engagement rings and bridal jewelry?? Do you really think you're targeting the right audience? I haven't even gone on a ONE date with a guy I like more than the guy that sells me scratch off lottery tickets at the corner bodega, and now we're talking marriage? COME ON NOW! It's a bit too much too soon. As if I didn't have enough reasons to sign off of your site for good!

Another Disgusting Cockroach Story

I know everyone loves a good New York cockroach story, so here's another one for you! A friend of mine was at her therapist, when she felt what she thought was her scarf tickling her neck. When she went to brush it away, she realized it was a huge cockroach. She jumped up and began screaming bloody murder. The therapist quickly got up too, and swatted at her patient while screaming "KILL IT!!! KILL IT!!!!". After a few minutes of frantic yelling and swatting, the cockroach finally jumped off my friend and onto the floor. The therapist opened the bathroom door and they both watched as the cockroach scurried through the doorway. The patient thought she might need an additional few years of therapy after this experience, but she turned out to be ok. It is New York after all, and unfortunately we're all used to a little cockroach action!

What Did Sam Collect When She Was Younger?

Haha! Another page from that book I filled out when I was six:

The Hottest Kitchens In Town

The following three restaurants have been the toast of the town lately. GREAT PRESS ALL OVER THE PLACE (i.e. you will have to sell your new iphone 4S for BIG BUCKS and bribe someone if you ever want to see the inside of these places and actually eat food!). I am dying to try though:

Tertulia -New Spanish restaurant that's being RAVED about by every single critic and blog. Is it all smoke and mirrors or is this place really as awesome as they say? I guess I'll found out in 2015 when they hype dies down and I'm actually able to get a table there!
 

Miss Lily's- The most stylish Jamaican restaurant in town. I popped into Miss Lily's Friday night at 7:30 to see how long the wait would be for a party of two. "Sorry, we won't have anything until 11pm". Uh oh. You don't want to come in contact with hungry Sam. She can be a vicious creature!! (Had to eat somewhere else which actually turned out to be an amazing little hidden gem, Snack. Great pick, Michael!)

Red Farm- Farm to table Chinese food (including Pac-Man dumplings!)? I SAY YES!

For more ideas on where you just HAVE to eat right now, check out Eater's Heatmap.

Let's Face It, Facebook Isn't Perfect-Vol. 3

photos of people from Titanas, Martina Rathgens, zugaldia, makelessnoise

The Most Dramatic Breakup of 2011

I recently read a great line in New York Magazine that made me smile:

"It's not easy being a stem. You go through life supporting a family of leaves, buds, shoots, what have you, only to be separated from them in the end and unceremoniously tossed into the trash".

Haha, never thought of it that way before! Sooo dramatic, New York Magazine, but I love it!

Siri...Party Girl!

SIRI-OUSLY, SIRI (the voice activated personal assistant on the new iphone 4s) IS AMAZING!!! Ask her to schedule your appointment, she does it for you. Tell her to call your Mom (hi Mom!) and she gladly makes the call. Ask her what religion you should join, and she brings up 9 local churches (As a Jew, I am offended! But I'll forgive her because she's so awesome!). Siri, I don't know what I ever did without you! I am blown away!!! You know everything, try to help whenever you can, keep me on my toes, and you're the life of the party!:

It's HERE!!! A Very Special Announcement

baby photo via hudsonthego

Little Sam Dreams of Being a Star

For the next few weeks, I am going to post pages from this book I filled in when I was six years old:

The following page actually surprises me. I had no idea that's what I dreamed of being when I was younger!

Maybe my dream will come true one day! I have been dabbling in standup, and really loving it! For those of you who haven't seen it yet (Why not? Have you blocked me on facebook? Do I mean nothing to you? NOTHING AT ALL????), here is my second comedic performance:

Superimpose Me-Fakebook Edition

You know that Halloween party you weren't invited to? Consider yourself the star guest! The wedding you never received an invitation for? You're invited, and the happy couple would like you to give a toast! That romantic date your crush went on with another woman? It's now a hot date with YOU! Superimpose Me is teaming up with fakebook to make you the most popular person in social networking. Your life has never been this eventful, and you want all the world to see! With just the click of a button, Superimpose Me will add you into any photo you wish you had been there for. You don't even need to leave your apartment to be the most popular girl in town!! See for yourself!

Photos by Debs, MarkScottAustinTX, and ninnet

If you'd like Superimpose Me to bring one of your dreams to life, send your request and a clear pic to SuperimposeMe@thesupergreat.com. I will try my best to make it happen!

Check out other Superimpose Me success stories here!

Trader Joe's: True Love or Just Amazing Customer Service?

How can you tell if the cashier at Trader Joe's is being nice to you because he's in love with you or if it's just part of his job? Here are some telltale signs:

1. Does he ring up two lemons for $80 each...in a desperate attempt to secure more time with you while you wait for the manager to come and remove them from your tab (This really happened to me!)?

2. Does he ask you if you found everything you needed (I DID NOW! I FOUND YOU!!! And that was so nice of you to ask by the way!)?

3. Does he bond with you over how delicious Hass avocados are (oh my! We have so much in common! Is there ANYTHING we don't agree on?)?

Ok, well if any of the previous statements are true in your case, then he's DEFINITELY in love with you!!

All kidding aside, I seriously think we might be a match made in heaven! Hmmm, maybe this is a job for Missed Connections?

Add As a Friend? Maybe Not...

I'm sorry, facebook, but your "People You May Know" section has GOT to go BUH BYE. It has been taunting me for weeks (or years) now, and I'm this close to signing off facebook all together to avoid the torment. Yes, I might know them, but I either hate them, or want to forget they ever existed!! 

And facebook, please stop using data from my gmail to guess who I know. Just because I sent some emails to a guy from online dating a few years ago, DOES NOT mean that I know him (or want to reconnect with him now) or want to see him in a wedding picture with his new wife! I guess that ship has sailed!!!

Thank you, that's all for now. Consider this a warning!

And the Most Painful Jewish Holiday Is.....

OY VEY! There is no doubt in my mind, Yom Kippur is the hardest day of the year for a girl like me who loves her food! For a whole entire day, I must refrain from all food and drink. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! TORTURE!!

 

Please excuse the bad food puns. They must have been brought on by memories of my starvation. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

A Story Sam Wrote at the Tender Age of Six

HUH??