Back from Oz!

image by Sam, adapted from photo by n.hewson

Sigh. Just returned from the most amazing trip in my favorite place in the world, Australia!! I swear, there is no place like it on earth. During my short stint there, I actually saw a RAINBOW, a koala in a tree outside our house, AND was seated next to not one, but TWO cute boys on my flight from Melbourne to Sydney. Thank you, Australia!

Good food was had, laughter was abundant, my tim tam addiction was intensified, and I had the time of my life! More posts to follow...

Valentine's Day-Through the Years

Valentine's Day circa 1991: 

Popular, AND modest too!

Valentine's Day 2006: I had no boyfriend and no special Valentines Day plans...It was just a typical day in the life of me! I stopped into a few shops on 5th avenue after work...As I was walking home, a guy was stumbling towards me from the other direction. It definitely looked like he was drunk. As he passed by me, he reached out his hand (which apparently had a bottle of some sort of hard liquor in it) and dumped the liquor over my head!! I was shocked and upset...I screamed out to him that he was an A$$hole, and before I knew it, he was gone. I walked all the way home crying w/ crunchy liquor soaked hair in the freezing cold (in hindsight, this might have been one of those times where splurging on a cab would have been a good idea)...WORST VALENTINES DAY EVER!! How come crazy things like this only happen to me?

Valentine's Day 2011: I arrive in sunny Melbourne! One of my faaaavorite cities in the whole wide world (sorry New York!). Happy Valentine's Day to me!!! Which leads me to the bad news: Since I will be in Australia for a few weeks, I might not be so good about updating my blog. I will try my hardest, but I might be too busy eating Tim Tams and frolicking on the beach. Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it!

Tangled headphones? Again??

Am I the only one this happens to? I put my headphones in my purse..and if I take them out even one second later, they are a tangled mess! How is this even possible? I know what you're thinking: Sam, I can't possibly focus on your tangled headphones dilemma when I am so distracted by the radiant beauty of your hands! I know, I get that all the time. "You should be a hand model. I have to put you in touch with my agent". It's totally understandable. They are kind of amazing. Um, but back to the headphones...It is completely out of hand! That's a lot of time spent untangling I can never get back! Time to buy retractable headphones...

Mean Psychics are the Worst!

Photo by www.lisarayman.com

Last year for my birthday, my friends organized the most awesome party, where they hired a psychic! Fun, right? Except this particular psychic didn't exactly see the world through rose colored glasses. She seemed to predict nothing but darkness and destruction in everyone's future, and had no problem dishing out the bad news!

"I see disaster...CONFUSION", she warned me. I mean, it was my BIRTHDAY for god's sake! LIE to me, Psychic! Tell me you see birds chirping and angels sprinkling fairy dust onto my gorgeous blonde hair. Tell me I'm going to fall in love and have a lifetime of magical happiness! This is one of those times where it actually IS ok to lie!!

She also told my poor friend Alexis (who had just started a new job she loved) "You are going down the path of doom. But you will get through these hard times". I mean, talk about Debbie Downer!

If I were to do a reading for this psychic, I would tell her I see a new profession in her near future. One that does not involve interacting with other humans!

Happy 18th Anniversary of my Bat Mitzvah!

collage by Sam Ratman (hello art school!), compiled from photos by Tupinambah and GoRun26

Ahhh, February 6, 1993. I remember it like it was yesterday. Here are some of the highlights:

-On the big day, we found out the keyboardist was sick and instead they would be sending a guy with an accordion. Surprisingly I don't remember this embarrassing me too much at the time, but looking back on it, it is mortifying!! An accordion?? NOT COOL!

-As entertainment for the big event, we had a "You be the Star" early version of karaoke where you pick a music video, and they superimpose your lip sync and dance performance onto it...I think that's maybe where my love for karaoke first blossomed. Somehow we convinced my dad to perform Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy"! He had never heard the song in his life, but I swear he blew everyone away!

-During the candle lighting ceremony (where you honor significant people in your life by calling them up to light a candle with you), I went to hug the honoree, and my hair brushed over the candle and put the fire out. My sister "calmly" alerted me to the fact that my hair was going to catch on fire. Wow, I can't believe I was almost that girl who lit her hair on fire at her own Bat Mitzvah. Would have made for some great photo ops!

The rest of the night, your typical Bat Mitzvah shenanigans ensued...They lifted me up on a chair while I held on for dear life, praying that I wouldn't be that girl that fell of the chair at her own Bat Mitzvah...At the end, we all stood around and swayed to Dionne Warwick's "That's What Friends are For". It was a great time! Thanks Mom and Dad!!

Fifth Grade Journal Friday-Sam's First Boyfriend!

Awww, my first boyfriend, Travis. I can't believe I actually wrote "I love you and I hope we stay boyfriend and girlfriend forever". Way to play hard to get, Sam! I'm not going to tell you how it worked out for Travis and me...You're just going to have to keep reading my blog! But I will warn you that things did not turn out exactly as I planned....To be continued...

And the Award for Most Unexpected Birthday Present Goes to......

Karen wins the award! She gave me this book, "Sex, Love, or Infatuation: How can I really know?" by Ray E. Short (along with a beautiful wallet. AS IF this book wouldn't have been enough!!). 

The book was published in 1978, and according to what's written on the cover, there are 200,000 copies out there being circulated. Wow, is all I have to say! I've only had a chance to quickly flip through it, but from what I've seen so far, there's some pretty earth shattering material in there: Should you stay a virgin before marriage? How will pre-marital sex affect your marriage (not well!!)? Is it real love or just infatuation? 

Watch out all you people with birthdays coming up! I don't want to get you excited, but I have a feeling I know what the gift of 2011 is going to be....

Birthday Karaoke-Recap!

Bobby warned us: "I've seen many a person crumble trying to perform Snow's 'Informer'..."

But Gavin and I were confident. We had blown people away with our heartwarming rendition of Michael Bolten's "How Am I Supposed to Live Without You"...We charmed them with Abba's "Fernando". How hard could "Informer" possibly be? Turns out, it was pretty darn impossible. The only words we could actually get out were "Informer" and "A licky boom boom down" (And those aren't even real words!).

There were pity claps in the end. But that performance was definitely a blow to our ego. Maybe we should postpone our world tour? Perhaps we're not as good as we think? Snow, I have newfound (or actually some at all) respect for you! 

For the record, here's how "Informer" should actually go: