My Daily Commute Reminds Me a Lot of "Paperboy"

Every day, my walk to work is like a scene right out of that classic 80's video game, "Paperboy". Without fail, it consists of 20 minutes of skillfully dodging all different sorts of crazy shenanigans. You lose points if you are unable to avoid any of the following:

Doormen spraying hoses, pigeons flying towards your face, construction scaffolding (and sometimes blowtorches), moms with strollers, dogs (and their poop), cars, trucks, puddles (sometimes mounds of snow depending on the season), fruit men, slow walkers, smokers, bagel cart lines, air conditioner drippings, homeless people begging for money, piles of smelly garbage, snow, sleet, hail, heavy winds, ice, crazy people talking to themselves, cat calls, people you know but don't feel like having small talk with, bicyclists, crossing guards, people asking you if you care about [fill in the issue] in order to get you to give them money or sign a petition, crazy cab drivers, buses...It is a miracle I make it to work in one piece every day!

On a side note, what's up with all the weird games from my childhood? Why does any child want to spend his free time delivering newspapers in a video game? And what about Oregon Trail? Hmmmm, Hunting and fishing to prevent starvation, and trying your damndest not to die of Dysentery...Sounds like a good time! Operation and Perfection: Both involving completing some task (a surgery and fitting pieces in a puzzle before the game explodes, respectively) to avoid getting the crap scared out of you. Gosh, the kids nowadays have it so easy!